


goodbye, my first love

by aureu



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Soulmates, this is a modern times au!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aureu/pseuds/aureu
Summary: with time, everything will be forgottenand so will youthat’s - what’s really sad.





	goodbye, my first love

First loves are always shown as something wonderful, indescribable. I guess that's how it felt to them too. On a beautiful spring day, Shinji wasn't feeling so well. Searching for a place to escape to, he stumbled upon his schools music room. After checking if anyone was inside, he went and sat on a desk next to the window. While watching the drifting clouds in the sky, he ended up falling asleep. Without knowing how much time had passed, he was woken up by soft music. He slowly opened his eyes, looked up and he _knew_ that the person he was seeing in front of him would change his life forever. The silver haired boy could feel his gaze on him, but continued to play, since he wanted to finish playing the piece. It was dedicated to Shinji after all. After a few minutes had passed, Kaworu finished playing and looked up. What he was met with wasn't exactly what he had expected - he wasn't sure why tears were rolling down Shinji's face.

" _Uhm...._ _Are you  okay?_ " he asked, while slowly getting up.

" _I....Uhm.....Yes, I'm fine.........I just.............Felt something weird...while listening to you play._ "

Kaworu smiled. It was a knowing smile, which kind of surprised the still shaken up Shinji.

" _Something weird? Like what? If you don't mind telling me, of course._ "

" _I.....I just got the feeling that we've...met before? I probably sound weird like how could have we met before, right? But you playing the piano and me sitting close by feels like something we've done a lot._ "

" ** _Aaahh, there it is. I was right._** " Kaworu thought.

He had gotten the same feeling when he first saw Shinji some months ago. It was a cold, snowy day, around Christmas. He was walking around the school to check if all the decorations had been placed correctly - council duties - when he suddenly saw a boy who was gazing outside, looking at the snow which was falling down. During that instant, he had felt it as well; the familiarity, that they had met somewhere before. He brushed it off and moved on, but escaping wasn't that easy. Ever since that day, he kept noticing Shinji's presence whenever he was around. His head had started to slowly fill with thoughts of the other boy and before he knew it himself, he had totally fallen for him.

" _I felt it too._ "

Shinji looked perplexed.

" _Although the first time I did was quite a while ago. But......you haven't left my mind since then._ " He flashed a warm, earnest smile.

Shinji's response were two flushed cheeks and an awkward laugh. That's how it all began.

 

After that day, they slowly started to grow closer and soon enough, they were inseparable. Summer came along and so did their long awaited break. Since they both lived in the dorms, they decided to go away for a few days. They both decided unanimously: the sea. 

During a hot evening which was spent sitting next to each other, looking at the calm waves, it became official.

" _I thought we were already dating_ " Kaworu had said - of course teasingly.

Shinji had pouted and tried to ignore him, but of course, failing miserably.

That summer break had been an unforgettable experience for both of them. They spent the hot days with their stomachs full of butterflies, walking around holding hands and the humid nights gazing at the stars, wishing those days would never end.

 

Days, months, even years passed by, yet the two now men still felt the same way they had felt when they first did in their high school days. They were currently sharing a home, living peaceful days. They couldn't even imagine they'd have to say goodbye soon, but that was their fate. No matter how many times they were born in this universe, they were bound to meet, fall in love with each other and then part in the cruellest way possible: separated by death. This time wasn't any different. On a beautiful spring day, Shinji was feeling well. He was on his way to the big park located in the city's heart. After a good day spent with his most loved one, he had to say goodbye to him in the most unexpected way. Heart failure was what the doctors had said. Shinji could have sworn he saw a red thread snapping the moment he lost him.

" _But....he was so young!_ "

Age didn't matter. In their case it never did and it never would. Their destiny had been decided a long time ago and it could not be changed no matter what. Being each others first and only love, they were continuously forced to say goodbye to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> thought this one up at 5:30am while eating breakfast so it is a bit messy i guess. but i hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> twt @ infiniteism  
> tumblr @ changbak


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